O lord, thou hast searched me, and known me.
Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.
Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether.
Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.
Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?
If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.
If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;
Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.
If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me.
Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.
For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb.
I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.
How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.
Psalms 139: 1-18
In August I suddenly wanted to become a mother.
I prayed that Cody would be filled with the desire to become a parent and remained terrified to share my own desire with him. Funny how nobody tells you that marriage can be like that sometimes.
In December, that particular prayer was answered. I began to pray that we would indeed conceive.
Little did I know that within only a handful of days, my prayers would be answered.
On our last day in Paris, I took a pregnancy test and and we spent the afternoon walking around in awe of our blessing. I prayed for our child as I stared at the stained-glass windows in Notre Dame.
Today, I am seven weeks pregnant. I eat crackers and ginger ale and think about laying down on a blanket in the woods behind our house with our baby this fall.
What an amazing thing this is. Walking around with another human growing inside me and nobody knowing it.